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Sunday, September 6, 2020

The Diwali of Decisions... Part 2: Arnav's Quandary

 

             The Diwali of Decisions

                     Part 2


AN: Hi everyone, I am back with the second part of my latest story. Again, I've stuck to the canon up until the first Diwali episode, and my story takes off from there. I hope you enjoy reading this. Your comments and criticisms are always welcome. The final part will be up some time next week. Happy reading :) 

               

               Arnav’s Quandary


There was a slight knock at the door, and Arnav looked up expectedly.

“Arnav bhaiya, your coffee.” Hari Prakash entered the room and kept the cup on the table beside his recliner.

He felt a slight twinge of disappointment.

“Where is everyone?” he asked in a clipped tone, eyes still on his laptop.  “Bhaiya ji, Nani, Anjali di and Lavanya ji are in Nani’s room, Mamiji has gone to the ‘temple’ and Akash bhaiya hasn’t come back from the office yet.” The answer didn’t do anything to improve Arnav’s mood. ‘Okay, you may go now.’ The boss barked. HP left, still unphased, he was used to his Arnav Bhaiya’s well-meaning insolence.

 

Well, of course Akash was still at the office, that’s where he himself should have been. It was f***ing three in the afternoon, and Arnav Singh Raizada, the Founder and CEO of AR, was home already, frustratingly failing at drafting an important mail. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! He wanted to ask about her, but didn’t know how? He had left early for his office this morning, wanting to avoid any chance encounter with one Miss Gupta. While leaving though, he had overheard his di tell someone over the phone that Khushi hadn’t reached yet. He had assumed that to mean that she must have been on her way and had rushed out, hoping to find some semblance of calm amidst the chaos of work.

 

The coffee was still untouched an hour later. He was leaning back against the recliner, his eyes closed, his form still, a slight frown on his forehead, the only indication of the restlessness within.  Her torso wrapped in the chiffon, the red of the saree paling in comparison to the alluring hue of her visage… he hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off her all night, he had been hypnotized. He was pretty sure he would have followed her off a cliff in that moment. The realization of his vulnerability in matters of Khushi jerked him back to his reality. He got up and moved to the poolside, hoping to rein-in his mind through gardening.  Arnav Singh Raizada was famed for his self-control, he prided himself on his savvy intellect, his famed ‘dimaag’, while the heart lay forgotten, somewhere deep inside, making very brief appearances in matters of Di. Khushi, somehow, had brought the flutter of his heart back. From the instant she fell in his arms; her eyes glassy, her lips quivering and her hands looped around him; his heart had made its presence known. The constant ache to possess her had followed close behind.

 

He had always been rather free with her; pushing her, pulling her, grabbing her, holding her… even marking her. He had been able to justify it all, to himself at least, in the name of anger. And so, he embraced the anger, with all its volatility, any excuse to touch her… Last night had shattered the pretence though, and his desire for her lay bare… unabashed and bare. It had to be his obsession with red, the colour was probably a siren’s call for him, it beckoned his maleness… And red on her, magnified his obsession beyond measure... It was the siren singing his favorite Sinatra song, exclusively for him. The pull was undeniable. He found himself facing the wall where he had held her captive a few hours back, imprisoned himself by her allure. His fingers traced the empty wall, willing the moment back, wishing a do-over. ‘What would you do different Arnav? Stop yourself from taking that first step in her direction or… or complete what had remained unfinished?’ The answer stunned him.

 

He would have kissed her, and she would have let him. The slight shiver of her frame, her downcast eyes, the quivering lips, had all been signs of her coyness, some slight hesitation even. At the slightest hint of reluctance; he would have stopped. But when she had met his gaze, in her eyes he had seen her permission, a plea… an invitation. The memory of her softness lay embedded in his flesh, his fingers could still feel her touch, the image of her delicate form caged within his arms was still fresh in his mind. Frustrated, he threw away the watering-pot, hoping to get rid of the unrest within. It didn’t. Why couldn’t he stop himself? Why didn’t she stop him?

 

“Chote, what happened? I heard a loud noise? Is everything okay?” His Di had barged in with a barrage of questions, forcing him out of his reverie. She saw the discarded vessel and temporarily calmed down. Arnav moved back to his room, hoping to avoid any conversation with his Di.

 

“Chote, why are you so distressed? Did something happen at work?” concern for her brother evident in her tone.

“I am fine di.” He answered, looking at his laptop, hoping she didn’t hear the remnants of the tornado brewing inside him in his voice.

“If you say so.” She relinquished rather easily; the touch of worry still intact though. She started to leave, then halted, turning back at the door she asked, “Did Khushi ji or Payal ji call you today?” The note of apprehension was palpable now.

“No. Why are you asking? Didn’t she come for work today?” he asked getting up from the recliner. His posture, alert.

“No. Payalji had called this morning, asking about her. She was really worried. I assumed Khushiji was meeting Lavanya at the office or something, since she had said she’d need to go there for a few hours this morning, so I gave her Lavanya and your numbers, I had thought she would have called.” She seemed really worried now.

“Di, please relax. I will call and check.” Arnav tried to calm his sister, while still feeling increasingly distraught himself. He called the next second but got no response.

“Anjali bitiya, please come to my room.” They heard Nani calling, probably from her room.

“Di, you go and check on Nani, I’ll try to call again. And don’t worry, I am sure everything is fine.”  The panic in his voice said otherwise.

“Chotey, I…”

“Anjali bitiya” Nani called again.

“Okay Chotey, keep calling. And let me know the instant you hear something.” He promised and she left.

 

She had tried calling him a couple of times during the day but he had wilfully ignored all attempts at contact.  He didn’t want to talk to her, not when he knew that the volcanic emotions within him would make him say something hurtful and humiliating, once again breaking her heart… And his. After all, just last night he had obliterated her very existence, calling her a gold-digger again, claiming their moment held no meaning, that she meant nothing…and worst of all, he had attacked her at her weakest.  He had been cruel to her, there was no other way to put it. He had seen the hurt in her eyes when he had announced his engagement, he had witnessed her struggle as she attempted to gather the broken bits of her spirit, her dignity, while feeding mithai to his family at this ‘happy’ occasion. She even had the sugar-free ones for him, she always did. He should have left her alone, given her time to build her self back up again, as she always did. Any other day, he probably would have. Last night though, he felt guilty and threatened, all at once, and so he had cornered her, like a mad dog, clawing at the tattered pieces of her dignity. Arnav Singh Raizada hated himself in that moment and in every moment since.

A couple more busy-tones and non-responses later, Arnav was getting agitated. The phone was still ringing when he rushed out of the house and to his car. As he pulled the door open, someone picked-up the call.

“Hello Khushi. Khushi? Hello? SOMEONE SPEAK DAMMIT!” He barked at the lack of response from the other side. The line wasn’t dead as he could hear people speaking at the other end.

“Hello Khushi, I…” he halted midway as the voices on the other end became slightly more audible and he heard her name.

“What has Khushi ever done to you? Why couldn’t you show her just a little kindness.” Was that her sister? He vaguely recalled her screaming at him when he had dropped an unconscious Khushi home. Of course, it had to be her. He tried to focus on the voices while starting the engine.

“Payaliya, I didn’t mean for her… I mean, I thought she wanted this.” Buaji sounded guilty.

“After she had explicitly expressed multiple times that she didn’t want to get engaged to Shyamji?”

‘What! Khushi’s engagement! What the hell was going on? Why didn’t he know of this? And who is this Shyam? She had never mentioned a Shyam.’ The information, the realization, the questions had resulted in a physical shudder. He could not and would not imagine Khushi with someone else… “Mine” the primal being had once again reared its ugly head.

“Bitiya, Shyam babua would have been a great match for her…” buaji seemed unconvinced herself and a male voice spoke in her stead,

“Payalji, it’s just early wedding jitters,  I am sure, in time, she would have wholeheartedly accepted the arrangement.” The voice tried to persuade, while not sounding convinced himself. And had he heard this voice somewhere? Did he know of any other Shyams? He didn’t have time to organize his thoughts as Payal all but screamed.

“She doesn’t love you Shyamji, why is it so difficult for you to understand?” there was silence. When Payal spoke again she sounded wrecked, “My sister never wanted much in life, but she did want love… Khushi wanted to marry for love, and buaji you wouldn’t even allow that. The threats, the emotional blackmail… did you not see her face last night? This family broke her. And now… now she is gone.”

Arnav panicked. ‘Gone? Where?’

“Hello? Hello? Anyone there?” he screamed into the phone and someone finally answered.

“Hello Arnav ji, sorry I didn’t realize you were on the phone.” It was Khushi’s mother on the line.

“Can I speak with Khushi?” He was blunt, pleasantries take time and he didn’t have any.

“Ji, we had tried calling you, but then we found her letter. Khushi… Khushi is gone.” And she broke, sobbing out loud.

Arnav disconnected the call as he entered Khushi’s lane in Lakshmi Nagar. He couldn’t console anyone now, not even outwardly. He had to get there and talk to someone, get the relevant details as soon as possible. He had to find her. Khushi couldn’t just leave… she couldn’t leave him. Didn’t she know , he couldn’t breathe…

He was lurched back to reality as he neared her house and saw someone leaving.

“What was jeejaji doing here?” Arnav wondered out loud.

                         ***********************************

AN: Thanks for reading. See you soon with the final part. 

Love

Srija :)    


Tuesday, August 25, 2020

The Diwali of Decisions... An ArHi Fiction

 AN: Hi everyone. I recently re-watched the etire first season of IPKKND (probably for the fourteenth time) and felt inspired to write again after almost 5 years. 

So this is set after the 'almost kiss' diwali episode. Khushi is back home, dazed and confused; Arnav has announced his engagement with Lavanya ; and Khushi is pressured into agreeing to get engaged with Shyam. This is where this Three shot takes off. Hope you like it.

AN2: This work of fiction is a work of my creative process, so please respect my copyright over this original content.


                                                The Diwali of Decisions
                                 
                                 Khushi's Conundrum

‘Who was this broken woman staring back at her?’ As if on instinct she turned back, hoping to find someone behind her. She was alone. She looked into the mirror again, and a pale face with hazel-brown eyes looked back at her. She had scrubbed her face clean of the little make-up she had applied for the Diwali party, but a thin line of slightly faded kohl still framed her eyes. People often said she had beautiful eyes, and even the extreme tiredness within and the slight shadows underneath couldn’t mar their sublime beauty. Only, the mirth was gone.

 

Payal shifted in her sleep and the rustle of her blanket pulled Khushi back to her reality. She moved to her side of the bed and checked to see if her sister was comfortably wrapped and warm. She was. The bed looked cozy and she was tired, but she decided against getting in. She knew sleep wouldn’t come easy tonight, a lot had happened and she needed to take stock of the day. She needed jalebis.

 

She dimmed the light of her room and moved to the kitchen. Some twenty minutes later she was sitting on the stairs in their backyard, a cup of scalding hot tea and a small platter of jalebis by her. The red saree she had worn to the party at Shantivan was loosely hanging from one of the ropes tied across the yard. She had looked pretty in it… no, she looked beautiful… his eyes had conveyed that to her.

 

He had been kind to her these past few days, charming even. He didn’t scream at her when she broke his favorite vase, instead, he took the blame and even assuaged her guilt by claiming it was just fine… nothing special. He had even paid the hospital bills for her Babuji's treatment, without her ever asking for any help. She also knew how difficult it was for him to be emotionally available, and yet he had been there, for her. The Lad governor was slowly turning into her Rajkumar, and that metamorphosis had terrified her… and maybe even excited her? The acceptance of this excitement had been nudging at her and she had closed her heart to it… well, she had honestly tried to, but some of it had seeped in.

 

She realized she had been fingering the payal on her right ankle all this while, and she was reminded of his hands there, his touch… so innocent and yet the most intimate one of her life. She had felt his fingers linger, a fraction of a second longer than absolutely necessary, and she shivered, again. She wanted to know why he had it? Why he had held on to it? But Arnav Singh Raizada didn’t answer questions, especially not those asked by a woman of her ‘aukaat’. She wondered if he had thought of her aukaat when he had looked into her eyes… when he had taken those first steps towards her? She shivered at the mere memory of the moment.


As the cool November air hit her, the shivers intensified. She pulled her dupatta tight around her form. Why didn’t she say anything? Why didn’t she ask him to stop? He would have, she knew that.  She had wanted to, she told herself... Only, when their eyes had met, she glimpsed something in his… No, it wasn’t love. She had seen desire…  Unmasked, unhinged and raw desire. It should have scared her, it should have snapped her out of that timeless bubble and back to three-dimensional reality, only… Only she knew his eyes were simply mirroring hers’. She was hesitant and terrified. She had gripped her saree in hopes of getting a grip on herself. But all she could hear was heartbeats… Hers? His? She couldn’t say. And the flutter at the very core of her being had consumed her. So, when his fingers caressed her face, she had leaned into his touch. And when she felt his breath on her lips, she had waited…


‘Waited for what Khushi? What were you waiting for?’ She hesitated. Accepting the truth, even to herself, would make her wantonness too real, and the Lucknow in Khushi wouldn’t allow that.  But she couldn’t hide anymore, not when in her heart she knew, that had she not clutched her saree and restrained herself, she would have reached for him… She had wanted his kiss.

The realization shook her. She stood up and started pacing along the corridor, the concern for the discomfort of her family members fast asleep in the adjoining rooms, suddenly forgotten. What was she doing? What did it all mean? He had said it didn’t mean anything… that she shouldn’t dream beyond her means. What had she expected him to say? Was it even possible to name their relationship? Could their momentary loss of judgement qualify as a relationship at all, even a nameless one? No, a relationship was what he now had with Lavanya ji, they were engaged to be married, as was she with Shyam ji. Both Lavanya ji and Shyam ji had only ever shown her kindness and this is how she was showing her gratitude? By betraying their trust! When did she become this despicable a human?  How could she let that fleeting moment of passion blind her to every other relationship in her life? This had to stop, right away.

Well, he was engaged to Lavanya ji and everyone in the family had happily accepted their relationship, so her work there was done. It was simple then, she would just never step a foot inside Shantivan, ever again. Problem solved, right? Only, their recent history would say otherwise… It didn’t matter how far or fast she runs in the opposite direction, she would eventually find herself in his arms.  She couldn’t risk it, not anymore, there was too much at stake. And then there was the question of Shyam ji. He was a decent man and deserved someone truthful and honest and loving, and regardless of how hard she tried, she couldn’t see herself ever feeling anything for him… ever loving him, like a wife should her husband.

The last few months had passed-by in a flash, from her Jiji’s broken heart to her father’s paralysis, so much had happened. When did she find the time to weave this web? How could she let everything get so messy? Will she ever be able to sort everything out?

Midnight blue had given way to a much lighter shade and even that was now rimmed by a slight orange, as the first rays of morning light were attempting to pierce through the veil of darkness. Her decision made, she headed back inside. Khushi knew what she had to do…


AN: Thanks for reading this. Please do let me know if you liked it. Part 2 of this three shot (TS) will be published in the next couple of days.