AN: Hi everyone. I recently re-watched the etire first season of IPKKND (probably for the fourteenth time) and felt inspired to write again after almost 5 years.
So this is set after the 'almost kiss' diwali episode. Khushi is back home, dazed and confused; Arnav has announced his engagement with Lavanya ; and Khushi is pressured into agreeing to get engaged with Shyam. This is where this Three shot takes off. Hope you like it.
AN2: This work of fiction is a work of my creative process, so please respect my copyright over this original content.
‘Who was this broken woman staring back at her?’ As
if on instinct she turned back, hoping to find someone behind her. She was
alone. She looked into the mirror again, and a pale face with hazel-brown eyes
looked back at her. She had scrubbed her face clean of the little make-up she
had applied for the Diwali party, but a thin line of slightly faded kohl still
framed her eyes. People often said she had beautiful eyes, and even the extreme
tiredness within and the slight shadows underneath couldn’t mar their sublime
beauty. Only, the mirth was gone.
Payal shifted in her sleep and the rustle of her
blanket pulled Khushi back to her reality. She moved to her side of the bed and
checked to see if her sister was comfortably wrapped and warm. She was. The bed
looked cozy and she was tired, but she decided against getting in. She knew
sleep wouldn’t come easy tonight, a lot had happened and she needed to take
stock of the day. She needed jalebis.
She dimmed the light of her room and moved to the
kitchen. Some twenty minutes later she was sitting on the stairs in their
backyard, a cup of scalding hot tea and a small platter of jalebis by her. The
red saree she had worn to the party at Shantivan was loosely hanging from one
of the ropes tied across the yard. She had looked pretty in it… no, she looked
beautiful… his eyes had conveyed that to her.
He had been kind to her these past few days,
charming even. He didn’t scream at her when she broke his favorite vase,
instead, he took the blame and even assuaged her guilt by claiming it was just
fine… nothing special. He had even paid the hospital bills for her Babuji's treatment, without her ever asking for any help. She also knew how difficult it was for him to be emotionally available, and yet he had been there, for her. The Lad governor was slowly turning into her Rajkumar,
and that metamorphosis had terrified her… and maybe even excited her? The acceptance
of this excitement had been nudging at her and she had closed her heart to it… well,
she had honestly tried to, but some of it had seeped in.
She realized she had been fingering the payal on
her right ankle all this while, and she was reminded of his hands there, his
touch… so innocent and yet the most intimate one of her life. She had felt his
fingers linger, a fraction of a second longer than absolutely necessary, and
she shivered, again. She wanted to know why he had it? Why he had held on to
it? But Arnav Singh Raizada didn’t answer questions, especially not those asked
by a woman of her ‘aukaat’. She wondered if he had thought of her aukaat when
he had looked into her eyes… when he had taken those first steps towards her? She
shivered at the mere memory of the moment.
As the cool November air hit her, the shivers
intensified. She pulled her dupatta tight around her form. Why didn’t she say
anything? Why didn’t she ask him to stop? He would have, she knew that. She had wanted to, she told herself... Only, when
their eyes had met, she glimpsed something in his… No, it wasn’t love. She had
seen desire… Unmasked, unhinged and raw
desire. It should have scared her, it should have snapped her out of that
timeless bubble and back to three-dimensional reality, only… Only she knew his
eyes were simply mirroring hers’. She was hesitant and terrified. She had
gripped her saree in hopes of getting a grip on herself. But all she could hear
was heartbeats… Hers? His? She couldn’t say. And the flutter at the very core
of her being had consumed her. So, when his fingers caressed her face, she had
leaned into his touch. And when she felt his breath on her lips, she had
waited…
‘Waited for what Khushi? What were you waiting
for?’ She hesitated. Accepting the truth, even to herself, would make her
wantonness too real, and the Lucknow in Khushi wouldn’t allow that. But she couldn’t hide anymore, not when in
her heart she knew, that had she not clutched her saree and restrained herself,
she would have reached for him… She had wanted his kiss.
The realization shook her. She stood up and
started pacing along the corridor, the concern for the discomfort of her family
members fast asleep in the adjoining rooms, suddenly forgotten. What was she doing?
What did it all mean? He had said it didn’t mean anything… that she shouldn’t
dream beyond her means. What had she expected him to say? Was it even possible
to name their relationship? Could their momentary loss of judgement qualify as
a relationship at all, even a nameless one? No, a relationship was what he now
had with Lavanya ji, they were engaged to be married, as was she with Shyam ji.
Both Lavanya ji and Shyam ji had only ever shown her kindness and this is how
she was showing her gratitude? By betraying their trust! When did she become
this despicable a human? How could she
let that fleeting moment of passion blind her to every other relationship in
her life? This had to stop, right away.
Well, he was engaged to Lavanya ji and everyone in
the family had happily accepted their relationship, so her work there was done.
It was simple then, she would just never step a foot inside Shantivan, ever
again. Problem solved, right? Only, their recent history would say otherwise…
It didn’t matter how far or fast she runs in the opposite direction, she would
eventually find herself in his arms. She couldn’t risk it, not anymore, there
was too much at stake. And then there was the question of Shyam ji. He was a
decent man and deserved someone truthful and honest and loving, and regardless
of how hard she tried, she couldn’t see herself ever feeling anything for him…
ever loving him, like a wife should her husband.
The last few months had passed-by in a flash, from
her Jiji’s broken heart to her father’s paralysis, so much had happened. When
did she find the time to weave this web? How could she let everything get so
messy? Will she ever be able to sort everything out?
Midnight blue had given way to a much lighter
shade and even that was now rimmed by a slight orange, as the first rays of morning light were attempting to pierce through the veil of darkness. Her
decision made, she headed back inside. Khushi knew what she had to do…
AN: Thanks for reading this. Please do let me know if you liked it. Part 2 of this three shot (TS) will be published in the next couple of days.
