Friday, June 14, 2013
Arshi SS Chamkili, ch 8. 'That which is unsaid'
That which is Unsaid- A
Insomnia was not unknown to him. Since the age of fourteen, it had been his constant companion. Accounts and reasons were variables, this feeling of void, of restlessness, the infallible constant of his life. Work issues did consume a lot of his thoughts and of course bred a lot of his worries, after all managing a-now-international-firm was no child's play and neither was he a magician. But he was skilled, organized and calculative; a perfect mix of viability and vision, professional front thus didn't give him any nightmares. His Ma's scream, his Dad's betrayal and that dead look in his Di's eyes had haunted his nights for as long as he could remember, blurring and even blocking all that was good and beautiful in life. And he suppressed it, vehemently, locking up the shadows somewhere deep within him, only the doors could not hold and the darkness had started to seep out of that little corner and stealthily consume him... his entire being. But not anymore, life had finally relented and had gifted him his own guardian angel. She helped him embrace his past, accept open-heartedly the good, the bad and the ugly, because he couldn't let it go until he acknowledged it existed. That very same angel lay sprawled over their bed, her hand gripping his waist, while her limbs were tangled around his thigh, her lips slightly parted as she snored very... unh inelegantly... but that was his Khushi, crazy but cute. She touched him and he started to heal.
But Arnav Singh Raizada was not some fifteen year old teenager, he knew very well that 'happily ever after' was a myth created by mediocre fiction, a myth created to keep the inhabitants of a social unit in the line, promising an everlasting bliss in exchange for their acquiescence to the norm. And Arnav was amongst the few who didn't take the bait. He knew his life with Khushi was the best one could ever hope for, much more than what he actually deserved, and yet it wasn't without its glitches, its own catch and misses, it was all part of the game, and he was all for it. Like tonight, it was a night of contentment but was not without a slight hitch.
Samay, the name occupied most of his mental space tonight, how could it be any other way, for anything even slightly related to his Khushi warranted his absolute and undivided concern. When he had first heard the name in her panic-ridden voice he had assumed the worst, after all Shyam, the man who had done everything in his power to destroy Khushi's life and had actually been successful in completely obliterating his Di's life was never far from his mind. Hence when she had finally clarified that she was talking about some Samay and not Shyam, pure relief had washed over him. And then when he had heard his wife confess her 'sins' in all morose seriousness, he couldn't control the full-blown laughter that escaped him. But now that he thought of it, his reaction had successfully surprised him as well, had his initial reaction not been that of overwhelming relief, he was sure he would have felt what he was feeling now, blatant possessive jealousy. Well, not that he was complaining, in fact far from it he was glad he reacted the way he did or else his innocent wife would have once again become the victim of his misplaced anger and Arnav Singh Raizada was done doing wrong by her ever.
She had tried making him jealous on various earlier occasions, conjuring that Banke Laal guy from her weird imagination or harmlessly flirting with N.K during Aakash's wedding. Well of course he knew that her crazy plans had more to do with getting some reaction out of him than anything else, yes, he knew it even then and yet he would be lying if he said he was completely unaffected. Hell the NK fiasco scared him to death, he had never hated that buffoon more in his life. But by the time this Baanke Laal episode came up he was well aware of his minx of a wife's crazy plans and weird imagination as well as her tendency to employ these to rile him up and hence it didn't bother him much. Also by then he was in a much better and surer place, as was their relationship. He couldn't help but smirk at his hollow arrogance and blatant hypocrisy, as the fact stared him in his face that Samay wasn't a creation of Khushi's pretty head and neither did he seem a clown like his cousin and that bothered him, hell who was he lying to, he was petrified dammit! This Samay person seemed like the ideal man, the kind of guy parents want for their daughters and levelheaded daughters want for themselves... the kind of guy Khushi's parent's would have wanted for her... probably she would have wanted for herself... Bothered by the direction of his thoughts, he shifted on his side, facing her, while his grip on her hand must have become painful as he saw Khushi wince and frown in her sleep. Loosening his grip, he enveloped her more fully, as if wanting to hide her from the world, keep her for himself... only himself, contain her... consume her such that no one would know her to be distinct from him. His wife snuggled into him further, attuned to his needs, as if that was the only natural way to be, nothing out of ordinary. He would never acknowledge it in front of her or anybody, for that matter, but for the nth time Arnav Singh Raizada was both thrilled and humbled by the realization that Khushi's undying love for him had more to do with the mysterious workings of her dimag, or dil as she liked to call it, than with him actually deserving her, and in instances like these he was most grateful for her crazy dimag. And yet why was that sinking feeling somewhere within him intensifying with every single heart beat? He snuggled further into her chest, desperately needing to feel her warmth, and her arms came around his head, as if anchoring him to herself.
Author's Note: Hey guys I know this is very less after very long, but I feel like I am going through a major writer's block. Anyway, I am working on it and will hopefully come through soon. Do let me know what you thought of the chapter, will wait for your comments, they are a big help to me so please do write down whatever you feel like.